Turkey

I went to Turkey, and this is what i learned...

1. it rains quite often at night
2. they actually serve a fair amount of turkey at dinner
3. suncream should be applied on day one - especially on feet and back
4. germans love it there
5. they speak foreign

Review Of 'Shutter Island' [contains spoilers]

It was a bit shit.

Rio Feltz

Today John Terry was sacked as captain of the England football [soccer] team, and replaced by Rio ferdinand. A punishment for John Terry, yes, but an even bigger punishment to the team, and the country as a whole. How in God's name are we supposed to go tho the world cup finals in the summer with that mook leading us out? He can barely run ten yards without falling over, he talks like he has a large marble stuck in one cheek, he has the personality of a semi-burnt meringue, and he undoubtedly smells of disinfectant . Plus, have you ever seen Rio Ferdinand in the same place, at the same time as Vanessa Feltz? No? Well, that's because they are the same person. Yes, Vanessa Feltz is new England captain...we may as well bend over and have the Germans shove rusty pineapples up our poo pipes right now.

Good night to you.

Big tit

Big tits

Bad Parking

I don't claim to be the parking king or anything, but these folk suck quite majorly.

Our Feathered Friends

This month saw a seagull die in my chimney. I nearly touched the damn thing, so not only did i nearly have a heart attack when i found it, i also nearly threw up on it too. Ultimately, it was a bad day. For a while there my relationship with the feathered folk was a bit strained. I didn't want to speak to one, let alone feed one. But things changed today when we discovered that the bird feeder in the front garden had mysteriously vanished. No food for the little guys. No wonder they're all dying.

So we went into the big city and got us some seeds and shit to feed those little fuckers.

Here is one that i actually got for christmas, but only got round to hanging today. It is seeds in the shape of a bungee jumper.

All i can say is - they better that shit we gave 'em, otherwise i will be declaring war on their sorry little feathered sphincters.

New-ish Year

January is nearly thru, and so i feel it time to inform the world [e.g., my two readers] as to how i am getting on with my new year resolutions. The fact that i know both of my two readers and already updated them on my goals is irrelevant, as clearly this blog is an act of mindless self-indulgence and merely a tool to feed my ego and stuff. Anyhoo...

• creativeness - i have thought a great deal about being creative. I have seen some ideas actually reach paper, but as yet, i am still being most lame.
• internet / tv / procrastination - Yep. Lots of it.
• eating less chocolate - if less infact means more, than yes, i am eating less.
• haircut - TICK!!!! Success!!!!!

So, there we are. Much the same as 2009 thus far. I do, however, have a few ideas i am working on, and i am subconsciously thinking about not eating chocolate - whatever that means...so i do feel i am making great progress. And getting my haircut was clearly a big victory for my head.

More to come as and when it may or may not happen...

Untitled 001

It has been a busy time here over the last few months.

I had my first car accident a few weeks back, i filed my first police report, got my first police caution, ate my first soufflé, visited Paris, did some christmas shopping, had an outing in Basildon, attended A & E and wore some longjohns.

Busy times indeed.

I have also spent much time constructing my new year resolutions list. So far it is looking like this:

• more proactiveness in all things imaginative and artistic. I aim to produce 'something' for each and every week of the year.
• less internet, less television, less procrastination in general.
• eat less chocolate.
• get my hair cut

To be fair, it isn't the greatest list in the world. However, it is a start.

In other news, i am looking forward to christmas arriving. I like presents, and i like seeing my mum. She is a nice lady. I am hoping i can get to Ramsgate and back without someone using my car as target practice.

Also, i am looking forward to seeing 'Where The Wild Things Are' at the cinema.

That is all for now...i have chocolate to eat and television to watch.

Good day to you.