I Spy...

...with my little eye, something beginning with 'a'...

Britain's Got Talent. Somewhere.

As i watch '2 Grand ' on the grand final of Britain's got talent i wonder if the world has finally lost its goddamn mind.

It's the GRAND FINAL.

Jesus H. Christ, they're terrible.

Flat Fanta

I purchased a lemon muffin and then ate it.

Lost In The Woods

Today was another busy one.

I played some Tiger Woods, and then ate my dinner.

Pizza Smut

Hot cookie, cold icecream. My mouth became confuzzled.

Asher Tosh

Asher Roth.
What's the point of him, then?

Jacket Portarto

I wanted to spend some money.
So i purchased a jacket with a whole shitload of zips.

The Wild Wild Wood

The front garden had some trees in it.
Then some men came along and stole them.
I know because i watched.

Training The Sphincter

I sat on a train.
It smelt of fart.

May The 4th Be With You

I didn't really care for Star Trek.
I went to see Star Trek.
I enjoyed Star Trek.

I also enjoyed Nandos.

Karma Clownemian

I didn't really believe in karma.
Then i saw Didier Drogba act like a complete moron for much of ninety minutes.
Then i saw Barcelona score a relatively undeserved goal.
Then i believed.

Catch It. Bin It. Kill It.

I became concerned about swine flu, so i went to Wagamamas and had some dinner.

It's Good To Have Ambition

I want to be a tree.

This week...

...i have been mostly listening to:
- the maccabees
- the cool kids
- vampire weekend

Hair Today, Hair Tomorrow

I need a haircut.
It is growing out of my left nostril.

Come What May

The first of May.
I ate some breakfast.
The electricity went off. I phoned for an electrician.
I worried that all the frozen food would defrost.
The electrician came.
I was so grateful that i ate some dinner.